Just to try something

You are a creative and free individual, who marches to the beat of a different drum. You have a bad habit of telling lies and making up excuses, but you have an amazing talent for imaginative things. What Kind Of Anime/Manga Are You?

http://powersugoi.net/quiz/mangatype.php

PROOF that I was (and still am) human (and something close to peanut brittle)

We were as much enchanted with each other, but that'll only ever be an assumption, because I'd never know what you know.

I'll only ever know what you tell me, but I would be using the dictionary I knew, not what you did.

We may not be on the same page, but everything just melted into this... thing. I see this only now.

So, how can you expect me to know how to deal with my pain when you can't even feel it for yourself? Maybe I'm just overreacting, so slap me now if I got this wrong. Maybe I'm assuming over you. I'm confused.

But... whatever. Say what you like or see, but I'll be on some other page because whatever you say... it will NEVER work for me. I don't need you to tell me what to be (at one point, it was like that for me. pardon me, i did not mean to say you were trying to tell me what to be). I'll be what I want to be because only I know what my life is all about. Not you. Not anyone. Not even stalkers (not that I know of any).

STALKERS = CROOKED PROFESSION :)) ( I was supposed to write 'gay', but no, that's too offensive. XD )

I still remember. When your words would bring me up... more so than did my ex-friends. But now, it won't matter anymore. :|

NOW I'M A BETTER PERSON. Thanks to you. :">

I LOVE YOU! (sounds like a fairytale)

Words as Stickies

Making sure of the uncertainty... makes it easier for me to make decisions.

Especially college.

My choices for courses have narrowed down to: Fine Arts, Psychology, and Communication Arts.

But you know it could change again. :)) I'm just more sure than usual today.

I feel like I'm monoblocking outer forces WRONGLY

What is this supposed to be? Oh wait, riiight, my life. I thought it was unstable chemicals in my head.

Whatever I seem to do lately, I just get into it. It's like I'm totally down-to-earth with my house chores and forgetting to think straight (like, should I do this first yada, or gah, I wasted time doing that before that yada). Is this what office feels like? HRM. . .

I need a life. Hrm. http://www.wetherobots.com/ <- good comics. ^w^ Be my guest, go ahead and waste YOUR life (while I do so with ARASHI! ARASHI! foooor dreaaaam... OUR dream, not yours. GAHCK it's been repeating in my head the whole day. GACHKKGKFjwoijoerm3sdadsdiunidhi2ndlmo). But no, really, they're good comics. Lollies. Fehehehehe.

^I'm back to my old diseased fanaticism. Gosh, I hope the hangovers just stop at least before school starts.

=::super rant time stops, regret of not sleeping well kicks in::=

Kanina pa ko dinadamayan ng gamu-gamu dito. Gumagapang-gapang sila sa papel na ginawa kong mouse pad. Doon lang. Pakiramdam ko nanlalambot na ang aking balakang at buto sa likuran. Di ko na kaya. Tulog na 'ko. Kanina pa.

Aruy. Naadik kasi ako sa "Za Kuwizuu SHOoooow!" o sa ingles "The Quiz SHOw" starring Sho Sakurai (ARASHI! ARASHI! okay, I'll stop now) as Kamiyama, the game show host. The rest, I don't know who they are, just their roles. Honma, Sae... blah, just watch it. It's on: http://mysoju.com/ <- search it from there and then click 'season 2' because season 1 is prolly a lie 'cause episode 1 of it is the same of season 2. Gargle. Plus, season 1 ends there, (on mysoju.).

JUST WATCH.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'd rather get LSS on Ninomiya's Himitsu. Or better yet Sho's Can't Let Go. (lol)

Gosh, the cracked version of The Quiz Show (forgot the link) really distorted for me the storyline of the show. "GAH, IT'S ONE OF SHO'S BRAIN FARTS" was one of them.

I still feel cracked. Or I'm just letting them make me think that. Gosh, I need to work on myself.

=::GACK, epic rant bursts::=

SIGNS OF BAD HEALTH^

Gosh, I love futsal. Futsal is my savior to being completely BANGAG (or dead).

OH MY GOSH, NUTTY FLASHBACK: EYE OF THE TARSIER! xD I love BOHOL.

I wanna learn Judo. (OH SHIT, It's like I'm having a brain fart as well, like when you know, unrelated things become related because you experienced/heard/saw all of them in one event of your life) FUCKIN' EPIC.

I. Need. To. Sleep. ~super late reaction~ Bye!

KUNG PAO HAH! Shut up and good bye chipmunks! >_<

DAMN them chipmunks' singing. It's cute for the first few listens, but the movie replays have been killing me. O_O EVERY TIME.

I can't believe my brother's still watching it. O_O =_=

Hah. I love my gray shirt. It smells so nice. Freshly handed-me-down from my mom.

The damn right arrow key is so NUMB. Darn laptops and their sensitive keys.

I've been on a Bonnie Pink bonanza lately. I've watched some videos and downloaded some songs. I'm also planning to have a trade-off with some Asian guy far away from here. I asked for Passive-Progressivism and Chronic Vertigo. If you have, can you please send them to me? O_O

My favorite video is 'Forget-Me-Not'. My favorite song so far is probably 'Evil and Flowers' or 'Daisy'. :>

I think, I have too many thoughts right now, it won't fit on my yahoo messenger stat. Druht.

=::=::=::=

I'm hyper today. MRAWR.

Personal Note of the Day - Sophie Year.

VERSION 2. STRONGER BETTER FASTER STRONGER (I deleted version 1 because it was too confusing)

When I take a day for nothing, it feels like it's a week. And when I take a week for nothing, it feels like about half a month. When I take a month for nothing, it'll feel like a year.

It's like my brain is asking for the next bigger unit, which is natural for everyone, since the brain has the ability to use learned facts (units) from school and in life. It's like learning differences, but using the memory of chronicle.

Recently, the years have been feeling like months or 2, compared to my eariler years. It means I have a life now, not like in grade school.

I think I have less of a life this school year though, compared to my freshman year. I barely  do anything important besides school-related work. I never considered school-ing to be a life anyway, just a fraction of it. But I hang out with Heleina and we go to each other's homes. I wonder if she has any more friends she talks to like she does with me. I'm not sure if she would tell me if she had. She's kind of an aesthetic. She's probably all about the important social stuff, I don't mean the specifics.

Now that I think about it, I guess if she had any friends like that, I bet she'd tell me about it and we'd be one group, etc. since she likes more 'cause it's merrier.

The 'group' used to be three actually. It was established out of a gathering in a forum with honest answers and questions. We were like the Power Puff Girls, and perhaps, it was really like that. Just thinking about it like that tickles me to the nerves. My heart was especially jumpy and hyper then (due to a sudden wave of action in my life), so I was the epitome of 'balanced optimism and criticism', because of the effect of the cynical Mr. Blessed Devil on me and as well as Joanne. But I got most of my balance from Joanne. (Yes, they beat my family tree).

I don't talk to AA much recently, and it's been such a huge rash on the back of my head. I'm a little confused of what I set myself to thinking or doing, but I did the confusing out of fear and reluctance, so I did everything by myself. I'm not at all proud with that, but at least I got the random-ness symptom out of myself for being too critical with my outlook. I guess I needed the space from my instant-noodle paradise. Yes, my good life happened THAT fast. Seriously, just a few minutes on stage acting actually gave me an instant(ly dead) fan club (with macho fan girls who I couldn't fend off alone because I just started softball) and a boom-ful of friends out of nowhere. What the hell indeed!

Okay, back to today. It seems like I can move on without most of those friends, but it still feels like I'm too guilty to want that. They never did anything to me, so why am I thinking that? To not hurt myself? No, avoiding them hurts me and probably them too. To not hurt them? But I don't even know if that will hurt them or not. Still a lot of questions, that's all I see.

I'd like to ask them, but I've been carrying all my guilt and actions all school-year and I'm not sure what has changed in them. I will never know, unless I start a conversation with them. I won't know either if I am rejected or not if I don't try, but that's easier said then said to them personally. O.O

I have a feeling one day when my hurt, fear and problems are gone, I will surely despise reading this again. This is something for further notice.

This is a bad habit of mine. When something personal arouses, I try not to tell anyone about it, because (1) it's difficult to explain firsthand, (2) when it takes too long, they might not be interested in being friends with me anymore, (3) all I keep thinking is of myself if it's personal, I oftentimes forget to keep in touch with other people far from my work-area and (4) it's too personal; it's my own language. The only thing left to explain to them is I'm like this, and hope that they accept me or hope for a solution coming from them. But I doubt that last one, because only I know myself best. Especially true for those who really think. And I like those kinds of people.

I sometimes find it weird how I think. It's like one new root then another, and then slowly, all base roots grow on separate times depending on occasion, people, mood, and well-being. I also learn one by one from people one by one. Every year, I've noticed, there is one primary person I hang out with the entire school-year (usually never interrupted by any one else) and I always change everytime. It isn't a very assuring way of life, and I get confused because of this. One time, I even lost one good friend because of this. These relationships are all well-put, but usually not well-based. I find it depressing and annoying.

So? I'll try to change. I just need someone's help.

BIGO - who would want to read about that?

The reason why people always leave me is because I don't do anything. Well maybe except this. I sit -- with my timid pals -- and talk about mundane things (and school work, that's the only important one) and never go anywhere else then the canteen and think too much in silences between conversations that happen too often. So much for a failure to do. So much for that recollection. I wasted everything I ever wanted. Why do I keep doing that? Why do I have to lose some awesome friend after everytime something nice happens? It's so irritating, I irritate myself for that.

I know I never tried lying to myself, I know I never tried to be this way, but I did, so how could know if I didn't lie to myself? So irritating.

Problem is, the "out of fear" choice is still available for me. Dammit. Even that dramafest? Hah, it was slightly that, and I wanted to try something else. Pat kasi so strong and enforcing. But I'm thankful for that.

I guess we really can't help it if we need certain kinds of people, and miss out on certain people too. We all need people to cover up for our crappy selves. Here's the thing though: "The power is yours" WOW. Captain Planet, he's a hero. Thanks Heleina. YOU make me laugh. *hug*

No matter how crappy (my) life is, there's always a lesson. *nod*

Yes, that wasn't JUST the lesson.

I won't promise anything anymore to myself, I'll just promise that I'll do it na lang. I think I'm too stressed out to remember promises. UGH. I hate that.

Hoh wait. I think I already promised myself that.

O_________O *stretched by the wind*